Better

I got a glimpse of something wonderful and promising yesterday.  It was Suzi's third dentist appointment, and my parents were keeping Robert and Ivey for me to be with her.  After we were done I'd told her we'd go to Target so she could pick out a little toy and some ice cream to eat since her mouth was still numb.  But on the way there, as we were passing the mall, I remembered the Halloween store and asked if she'd rather go there.  Going in that shop is one of my favorite things to do around Halloween, and Suzi has gotten to be as crazy about Halloween as I am!

So we skipped off hand-in-hand to the Halloween store, and talked about decorations and costumes and what would look good on whom.  We really talked.  Usually this dynamic between Suzi and me is drowned out by her boisterous siblings.  I am forever chasing Robert around or cleaning up a mess (see yesterday's post) or breaking up a fight between Suzi and Ivey.  But when I'm alone with Suzi, or even alone with both the girls, I can see that things are going to get better.  Maybe in just a year or two, as soon as Robert is able to comprehend and follow instructions.  Maybe in a few months when he begins to use the potty.

These wild babies do turn into unique, thoughtful little people who are a pleasure to be around.  I always knew it was true, but recently I've been seeing it.  They go from sweet babies, to hilarious, experimenting, mess-making toddlers, to children who are beginning to understand and contribute.  Five and a half years ago as I sat in a hospital bed with my heart up in the clouds holding my little newborn Suzi, I had no idea that she'd turn out to be so different from what I'd envisioned.  I had no idea she could turn out to be so much better than I'd envisioned.  Because I didn't design her, inside and out, God did.  She is so much more than I could ever imagine.  All children are.  It's not only easier with older kids.  It's such a gift to watch and facilitate as their talents, styles, and personalities unfold.

This is what I have to look forward to.  It will get better.  It will be amazing.  Soon, relatively soon.  That is going to be my mantra as I pick up toys and mop up spills and Robert follows me around messing things up again.  Overwhelmed doesn't begin to cover it.  But it will get better.