Sometime last week, I breastfed Suzi for the last time (and didn't even know it was the last time). It was gradual. Suzi started by ceasing to request it during the day. We were down to once in the morning, once in the afternoon, and occasionally once at night. That was about a month ago. Then she started to show resistance to the morning breastfeed (or at least waking up for it), especially after the time changed. I started letting her get a few extra minutes of sleep instead. At that point, we were only doing the afternoon session whenever she was sleepy or upset. We started skipping a day at a time and then she'd nurse the following day. Finally, two days went by without her asking, and I knew any supply I might have had was probably gone. After three days she asked me to nurse her, but I told her I didn't have any more. She whined and accepted a cuddle instead as I rocked her.
I probably would have encouraged her more to keep going, but there were issues. Her latch had for some reason changed and was leaving me with teeth marks every time. I was sore, and I don't think she was getting more than a few drops of milk anyway.
Breastfeeding never made me feel like a martyr. I always wanted to do it. And now that it's over, it feels like breaking up with a high school boyfriend even though he might have been a jerk, or like when your 16-year-old cat dies, and you knew it was coming, but you cry anyway. Because how can you quit something you've been doing every day for nearly two years, and not even know you were doing it for the last time?
Just remembering all those hundreds of nursing sessions... In the recliner, at the computer while I used the other hand to type, at the Highland Games, at the aquarium, lying in bed in the morning... Seeing her sleepy post-nursing face. I know I will get to do all this again with Ivey.
So why do I have sad love songs playing in my head?
At first I thought I wasn't going to get into this book, but after a couple of chapters I was hooked. It involves a beautiful but flawed cast of characters, some of whom I loved and others I loved to hate. The characters alone could have made a good book, but the unique, intricate storyline made it great. I've read some novels which were fun to read but were forgettable due to their overused basic storyline. In one of my fiction workshops in college a fellow student pointed out that practically all new stories are merely variations of one of a few root stories. I don't think this is one of them. A story and a backstory woven together across generations, this book is one I'll remember for a long time.
It's been compared to Wally Lamb's She's Come Undone, which I enjoyed reading years ago. It also reminds me a little of A Prayer for Owen Meany, but maybe that's just me.
I would share what I liked best about the book, but that might ruin it for anyone who wants to read it. Let's just say this is Tiffany Baker's first novel and I'm ready to read her second one whenever it comes out. I highly recommend picking up The Little Giant of Aberdeen County if you're looking for an interesting read--especially if you want something a little different.
The other day we were going through Suzi's baby clothes to sort and pack them up, and I really did want to keep them out! Now I will get to. Other than that, I didn't really care if we had a boy or a girl. I would've been excited either way, and I feel certain we'll have a boy one day. I think our two little girls will have a lot of fun being sisters--something I never got to do.
Suzi went to the ultrasound with us, and when the image came up on the screen we told her it was the new baby. She smiled really big and said baby? Then, because it was dark in the room and Daddy was holding her, she fell asleep. The student and instructor who performed the ultrasound had to get lots of measurements and the baby kept moving around, so they had to chase her and it took a long time. Apparently she is very active, even though right now I can't feel her half as often as I saw her moving in the ultrasound. They predicted that I'd have some "busy days" once she gets a little bigger! Several times we saw her stretch her legs all the way out, and she won't be able to do that much longer.
We didn't get to tell Suzi she was having a sister until later when she woke up in the car. We asked her if she wanted to see pictures of the baby and she said no! I think she is excited anyway, although she can't seem to remember that it's a sister she's having and not a brother when we ask. I don't know if it'll be real to her until the baby is born. We want to have Suzi here at home during the birth so we can share the experience with her if she can handle it, but if she can't my mom will be here to give her the undivided attention she needs. (If you have any experience with a two-year-old witnessing a birth, please share!) I'm excited for her to meet the baby.
Anyway, it's about time for a belly shot. 20 weeks and 2 days!
And this is my favorite newborn girl outfit. It was so depressing when Suzi grew out of it. She was melt-your-heart adorable in it. See?
I went out and bought another one in the 6 month size, but it wasn't the same. I can't wait to put it on the new baby, along with all the rest of Suzi's little clothes!
Uh... If Suzi will let us.
After all this rambling, I guess I will go ahead and tell the baby's name. It's Ivey Deidre... Ivey after my paternal grandmother and Deidre after Jordan's mom. We have been working on getting Suzi to say it, and so far she says I-Fee.
Jordan took the day off with us today to celebrate, and we are headed out in a few minutes to go for a walk together. The news is still sinking in.
In our area, we've come to expect one decent snow a year, decent being at least two inches. It may last as little as six or eight hours if it happens overnight and the sun comes out the next day. This year, we had finally accepted that there would not be any snow. Then this happened in the afternoon on March 1st...
All of a sudden there was a fine covering, and by the next morning...
Suzi was duly impressed with the extra-large flakes.
Okay, ready to play in snow now!
Of course, we don't have a sled. What would we do with it for the other 364 days of the year? It's a purchase we can't justify. So we took Suzi out in her red ATW Radio Flyer.
Then we tried to let her slide down our hill on an extra large baking sheet, but she didn't slide very far. The snow was kind of crunchy at this point so it wasn't that slick.
That night, Jordan went out to bring the wagon in (we keep it inside). I told him he needed to put his coat and boots on, but he argued that he would only be out for a minute and wouldn't get that cold. I said he should wear them anyway because it would look stupid if he didn't. "Well, how do I look NOW?" he asked. Heh. He has a point. I told him he looked like Karen off of Frosty.
Video of us building a snowman, and Suzi singing to him, will be along shortly.
Today marks the kickoff of the Upstate Kids Consignment Sale in Clemson. We are dropping off our van full of items, plus a crib, this afternoon. The volunteer sale begins at 5:00 pm, so I hope to be waiting in line at 3:30.
We were up until midnight ironing, pricing and tagging, and Jordan had to get up an hour early to assemble the crib we are selling. Now that we're all finished I can't wait to shop!
If you are in the area, I highly recommend the Clemson sale. I've had the best luck finding deals at it. The public sale begins Friday, March 6th at 10:00 am. This time they've added a 25% off sale, which is Saturday, and the 50% off sale is Sunday! See the schedule for details.
If you can't make it this time, don't worry. There will be another sale in Anderson later this month. In fact, you still have time to register as a seller for that one and make some money off your own items! Better yet, volunteer to work for a four-hour slot and get in early (it's worth it).