This is how I feel today. Well, a mix between Pigpen and Grumpy the Dwarf. (Pic from here)
I really need to wash my hair today. Jordan turned the alarm off in his sleep this morning and since our girls were spending the night with Grandma and Robert decided to sleep in, I woke up and realized Jordan had about ten minutes to be at work. No shower for Mommy. AGAIN. Today is our chiropractor day so this dirty hair situation cannot wait for Jordan to get home and watch the kids. Robert is just going to have to sit in the bathroom floor. He'll probably whine and cry and see what he can find to put in his mouth. It sucks having to parent from the shower.
Is it too much to ask for a kid to just occasionally, say once or twice a week, eat what I make them without making faces or whining? I could easily feed them Easy Mac with a side of Oreos every meal, and I would be their hero. But we spend extra money and time and energy to make something that's good for them and they cut me to the quick with every nose crinkle. Jordan and I are exhausted from all the begging, pleading, negotiating.
I love Robert very much, but it would be super if he would let me put him down for a nap. I am constantly holding him, watching him like a hawk, or getting him out of trouble, and I've got things to do! Laundry. Dishes. Fixing dinner (ha, yeah right). Peeing even! He is driving me crazy.
Here it comes. If you don't like reading about periods and stuff, be on your way...
Where the hell is my period?!? I had my first one postpartum a month ago, I'm not pregnant, and I just know it's going to show up right in time for our 10K. Not good.
There is more. Pollen that has kept me in the house with the windows closed and feeling snotty and horrible when I need to be taking the kids outside to play, getting them to playdates and things. Jordan and I haven't even run in forever and since we are at the end of training for a 10K it's a bad time to be skipping runs.
I've struggled over the past few weeks with a hopeless hamster wheel feeling. Never-ending laundry and dishes. Children who don't seem to notice or care about anything I do for them, except of course when I make something to eat that they don't liiiiiike. The feeling that it is in poor taste to discuss this on my blog even though there is absolutely nowhere else to discuss it, except with a therapist but you have to pay for that. It's my blog so I'm going to talk about it.
It is so depressing and soul-sucking doing laundry, dishes, and menial busywork of every sort all day long, having time for hardly anything else, having no one notice, and barely talking to another adult all day. Three little kids have a funny way of keeping you in your house. Even in the rare moments when most everything is done and the kids are happy, things seem so pointless and lonely I could cry. It makes me feel even worse when I see people post things on Facebook like "I <3 my BFF!" or "Had such a fantastic time today with all my AMAAAAZING friends!" It must just be me, then. Super.
I'm going now to move the stupid alarm clock to my side of the bed and get a decent shower even if Robert hollers at me the whole time.