Wednesday, November 12, 2008

The Love Dare, days 8 and 9

Day eight's lesson was "love is not jealous." The main idea was that partners should not be jealous of one another's accomplishments. For instance, if the wife is always getting invited out for girls' nights, the husband shouldn't begrudge her that just because he doesn't go out with his friends very often. (Here, we both pretty much hang with Suzi every night.) Remember before how we were to make a list of each other's positive and negative qualities? Well, for day eight we were to burn the list of negative qualities "discreetly" and tell each other how happy we were about a success the other had. Since we both knew about the lists, and I was afraid I might burn my fingers, we decided to burn them together on the grill in the backyard. We wrapped our arms around each other as we watched them burn. I was glad to see the lists would be burned because, honestly, I don't think giving someone a laundry list of their worst qualities is constructive at all. I didn't want to get one and I didn't want to give one to Jordan either. So, as they burned, I told Jordan how glad I am that he has been getting good grades and will be graduating next month. And then... Jordan blanked. He fumbled noticeably for something to say. Finally he mentioned my job and my blog. LOL.

For day nine, the lesson was "Love makes good impressions." It discussed the way couples greet one another. Greetings are important, and not just for couples. Have you ever been excited to see someone, and then when you met them they barely acknowledged you or gave you a depressed, flat hello? It takes the wind out of your sails. You wonder if they are mad at you. The way you greet someone sets the tone for the rest of the time they spend with you, and perhaps even their whole day! I do my best to greet everyone cheerfully, but especially Jordan. It comes naturally most of the time because I miss him during the day and am happy to see him. Whenever Jordan comes home I generally stop what I am doing and open the door (if I see him coming). Then I give him a hug and a kiss (even as Suzi is clamoring for attention at our feet). If I am the one working (like some Saturdays) Jordan often makes an effort to do some cleaning or cook me lunch for when I get home. I feel like we already do a good job on greetings. The challenge was to think of a specific way you'd like to greet your spouse and do it with a smile and enthusiasm. Then we were to change our greetings to reflect our love for one another. I couldn't really think of any creative way to improve my greeting, besides perhaps jumping on Jordan instead of just hugging him or answering the door dressed only in cellophane, a la Fried Green Tomatoes. Ha. Maybe one day when Suzi is in college. So finally I decided to don my "Mommy needs a beer" apron and make him brownies. He liked that. I called him before he left work to ask if he'd pick up some things at the store, and he took that opportunity to greet me with soynuts and cookies. He knew I'd be happy to have soynuts because around here they are hard to find. We won't buy/make things for each other every day, of course, but occasionally it's nice. We will never run short of hugs and kisses to say I missed you and I'm glad you're home.