While I'm not quite ready to blog about my pregnancy yet, I don't want to lose all my early pregnancy thoughts, so I'm writing now and posting later. I'm at about six weeks now, and this pregnancy is already showing itself to be different from the past two.
1) I'm not nauseous unless I make the stupid mistake of going to bed without a snack first. It's even worse since Ivey nurses during the night, removing calories while I sleep. If this happens, when I wake up I have to get Jordan to run downstairs to make me some emergency toast with jelly. It's about the only thing I can even think of eating when I'm morning sick (or, as is usually the case, just have low blood sugar). When I was pregnant with Suzi it was the same, except I had to scrape most of the jelly off before eating it. I can't stand too much jelly, it's gross. But this is our third time and Jordan's gotten pretty good.
2) The night we found out we were pregnant, I thought of the name Robin. It made sense because of the extra egg in my nest and I said it would work for a girl or a boy. Jordan disagrees; if it's a boy he wants to name him Robert. He said Robin is not a boy's name. I said it was. Hello, Robin Williams? Robin Hood? Christopher Robin? But he really wants to name a boy Robert, and it was his grandfather's name, so I understand. If it's a boy we'll name him Robert and I'll call him Robby, but I kind of hope it's a girl.
3) Last night Jordan and I were watching Up together on Netflix. He'd already seen it and was so excited to show it to me because the couple reminded him of us. And we were having a great time seeing how cute the couple was and how much the guy looked like Jordan in those big geeky glasses of his, until (spoiler alert) the part where they lost a baby or couldn't get pregnant, and had this beautiful life together but never did get to go on their adventure, and then the wife died. I made it through all this quite stoically, and when it had been over for a couple of minutes and the movie had moved on, unexpectedly burst into tears. It was a sad movie, but this is not normal for me, and it made me feel better because lately it's been hard to believe I'm really pregnant, even though I want to be.
4) With Suzi and Ivey, I had daily pregnancy calendars that told a neat fact about the baby for every day of development. It had a sheet of stickers for me to mark important days, like "you feel me kicking," and I wrote notes about what we were doing to prepare and what I was experiencing. I still have these and I like to flip through them to see if what I'm going through now happened back then. Someday I will give them to my girls, and I'd planned to have one for each child. I was about to order one for Robin a few days ago, but I stopped myself. This time I thought I'd make my own. It won't be a frugal project because the calendar I was going to buy is only about $10, but it will be fun. I'll put my own pictures on it, and I'll have more room to write what I want. I haven't gotten started on it yet, though.
5) I want to hear the heartbeat. That will tell me this baby is okay and make all this seem like a reality. I can't wait. About four weeks to go.