Wednesday, July 22, 2009
You dream of a baby, you try for a baby, you get pregnant with a baby. Then you spend nine months reading and kegeling and buying teeny little clothes to prepare. There is even an ultrasound picture of the baby with cute and hands to prove she is in there. Why, then, is it a surprise when you go into labor and it results in a child? Really!
Two years ago, I was just shocked to see Suzi for the first time. Although I knew I wasn't just getting fat, that there was a baby in there, it wasn't like I expected to see this little black-haired girl gazing up at me at the end of it all. Maybe it was because I had envisioned a blondie with blue eyes (like Jordan) and she wasn't one. Maybe it was because I really wasn't used to seeing newborn babies.
But last night Jordan and I were sitting at the movies together and my mind flashed involuntarily to the image of a fuzzy-headed black-haired baby. I thought, "wow--that could be Ivey!" I don't know what she'll look like. Even though she's been taking up residence in my belly for nine months and we've been closer than close, I don't know what to expect. I tried to explain this terrifying and exhilarating phenomenon to Jordan on the way home but he didn't get it.
Why is it so impossible to look down at my basketball belly and translate the feet and butt scraping by to a sweet tiny girl in a pink blanket that fits right in the crook of my arm?
I guess it's just too miraculous to imagine.