My first baby is turning FIVE!

How ridiculous, right? But sure enough, this time five years ago we were at the hospital. Suzi made her debut at 1:13 am on May 30th. She has grown and changed so much over the years, and Jordan and I have grown and changed with her. I'm so happy to see that even though we mostly had no idea what we were doing, and still frequently don't, we have this wonderful child.

I can't believe we've come this far. I remember being hugely pregnant and thinking she'd definitely come early. HA. Holding her and clumsily trying to nurse her that screechy second night in the hospital, accidentally bumping her head on the side of the bassinet because she was wiggly, and then Jordan admitting he'd done the same thing. Lots and lots of mistakes. But some of those days, when I was still on maternity leave, I'd nurse her to sleep and then I'd lift her up, and she'd arch her back and stick her chin out to stretch. Then I would lay her on my chest and just stare at her. Those times were my favorite.

For her first birthday, I made invitations that said "Our little princess is turning one!" See how I didn't know what I was doing? Suzi is never, ever a princess. She squished frosting and cake all into her tutu that I made.

It finally became clear that she was going to be a performer. She also always loved to tell stories, like the time she was two and "dere was a bug crawling on the laundry basket, so I said 'AAAAHHH!' and Mama took care of dat bug."

She became an amazing big sister to Ivey. She helped give her baths and frequently said "aww, she's so cuuuute. Lookit at her."

She attended her little brother's birth and cut his cord. I can't believe how mature she is sometimes.

However, when she is unhappy, she will let you know that she is really, really unhappy. There may even be a guilt trip. You can bet she has a plan for how she'd like things to go and a picture in her head of how it will be. It can be hard to get her to do a specific thing, but she is also a self-starter and will work hard at something she finds rewarding.

One of the coolest things about Suzi is that she will talk to anybody. She sees a kid at the park and immediately has a new friend! She tells me "mom, come meet my friend!" And if I don't strike up a conversation with the friend's mother, she might give me a pep talk. "Mom, I know you're a little nervous to talk to your friend, but..."

When she was a baby I imagined what she'd be like, had grand thoughts about homeschooling, and daydreamed about having conversations with her. The day she turned five was some distant, imaginary point in the future. I can hardly believe we are there! Of course, now there are two more little ones and our days are wild and imperfect, but they are so awesome at the same time. And my Suzi is awesome.

These five years watching her grow and her personality unfold have been such a gift to me. Her party is this weekend and the theme is Green Lantern. I can't wait to wrap her gifts and wake her up with a hug tomorrow morning. Happy fifth birthday, my wonderful girl!