The worst feeling in the world

Sitting on the couch playing with Suzi, seeming better

And not very much later, feeling awful again

Ivey has been sick, and although this is an inconvenient time to blog, I want to do it now so I can remember this later. It's funny how our lives can change back and forth so much in just a couple of days.

Right now I am holding Ivey in the ring sling (on top of my pregnant belly, not very comfortable) and placing a goldfish cracker in her mouth every time she says "moh." This is the only way we've found, for the moment, that she is somewhat happy. Like, not screaming.

About a week ago, I noticed she wasn't herself. She fell asleep in her lunch, on a day when we hadn't been anywhere or engaged in any tiring activity. She normally wouldn't nap until at least 2 or 3 pm, if then. Friday morning she had a little of what seemed like diarrhea, but nothing too bad, and then Friday evening she threw up at my parents and we took her home. She continued to vomit, but not with the force or frequency of a stomach bug, and there was no fever or anyone we could think of that she'd caught it from. We were going to go visit Jordan's parents on Sunday after church, but she threw up Sunday morning. We skipped church, and then when she seemed better we decided to leave on our two-hour drive after feeding the kids dinner and waiting a bit to see if it stayed down. Everything went fine at Jordan's parents. No vomiting, and she was even in a decent mood and seemed to be getting back to normal.

Then, around 12:30 am on Tuesday, she threw up again. We thought it was just that we'd started her back on regular food too soon. She threw up again around 11 am and I thought maybe I'd fed her too much applesauce. So we took her to the doctor, which was a mistake. It took several hours out of our afternoon, and we had to subject her to a chilly car ride and an hour long wait in a little exam room. We were then told to take her home and keep doing what we were doing, and charged $20 for it. Duh. Next time I'll know better.

Until last night, we really did think she was getting better. My mom came over yesterday and Ivey was playing with her and seemed to be more herself than she had been in a couple of days. And then we took her to bed and she barfed up her soup and some jello from the night before, around 1:30. I was really upset last night. It just seems so wrong that she would be taking this long to get over a little "stomach bug," and also have no fever, and not have spread the illness to anyone else. I mean, she's puked on Jordan at least five times! Right now I would love nothing more than to get this stomach bug myself, just to prove that's all it is!

And it's Christmas time, and I have no idea when she'll be better. I have no idea when we're going to finish making our gifts. I haven't even made Jordan's anniversary gift, and that's a priority for me, and it's only two days away. This is a horrible place to be. I have a new respect for people whose children are seriously ill. I just have no idea how they go through months, years of what I am having a hard time doing for a week. It sucks.

She got tired of goldfish and fell asleep as I typed this, so I am going to try to get some sewing done now while my hands are free. I don't really know where to start. Tonight Jordan will probably sleep on the love seat with Ivey, because lying flat in bed seems to make it more likely that she'll get sick, and I will sleep on the couch. We will keep on feeding her bland foods, and hoping she doesn't throw up again. We will watch her play and seem happy for a few minutes and then start getting lethargic and irritable again. Knowing that 24 or even 36 hours of no vomiting doesn't necessarily mean anything.

There are few times in my life I've felt so awful. All I want for Christmas is a healthy Ivey.