I don't want to be the Biggest Loser, but I would like to lose a few pounds. After Suzi was born, I immediately dropped 20 pounds (eight of which was Suzi herself, so it probably doesn't count). Then I got stuck. This time, although I gained ten pounds less to begin with, I realized I was stuck at the -20 mark again. I've been eating junk food and I'm going to have to give it up and start exercising more!
I decided to get on with it the other day when I went to three different thrift shops (where I shop for clothes 95% of the time) looking for new jeans and couldn't find any. My old ones don't quite fit me yet and wearing maternity jeans--even little ones--when you are this far out is just depressing. I tried on a lot of jeans but none of them fit. I realized that maybe this was because I wasn't meant to find new, bigger jeans. I needed to lose a couple of pounds so I could fit into my old ones again.
We've been watching the Biggest Loser, and it really makes me want to do something. The people on the show have a lot more weight to lose and a lot more at stake; however, watching them step on the scales to see the weight melting off makes me want that, too. At some point on Tuesday I decided I'd try to exercise and lay off the junk food this week and see if I could be happy next week with them.
And I want to run again. I don't know why. Maybe because I see how good it makes some of my friends feel. Maybe because I miss the shape I was in when I ran. Thing is, I'm not in running shape at all. I can walk really fast. Sometime, though (when I'm not wearing a baby in a wrap!), I'm going to have to go for it and just start running and I guess I'm not sure when to do that. One of the things holding me back is worrying about what people will think when they see me. They might think, what is that girl doing running? Is she really qualified to do that? I weigh a bit more than the 110 pounds I weighed in high school now, after all!
But one time, I did weigh 110 pounds. I ran. I did boy push-ups (okay, only like ten of them and that was a major feat). At one point in high school I could do more sit-ups in two minutes than just about any of the girls in JROTC. I may have been the slowest girl on the cross country team, but I was on it.
And now I may be older and heavier and slow. But I want to run again.