Just eat, child. Pleeeease.

Ivey has decided she hates to eat dinner.  It doesn't really matter what it is.  Jordan makes various kid-friendly, reasonable dinners, and the only ones she'll consistently eat a halfway decent amount of are things like macaroni and cheese.  Obviously we can't have that every night!  Some nights, like tonight, we have to beg her to take every bite.  And then beg her to chew and swallow.  It's exhausting.

I don't believe in forcing a kid to be a "plate cleaner."  I don't think children should be forced to eat foods they hate, and I'd be completely willing to make a sandwich for her on nights when we're having something she truly dislikes.  But it's almost every night, and there are already plenty of foods Jordan and I like but don't even bother to make because they aren't kid-friendly.  We are being reasonable!

I am also not above saying "fine, go on to bed then" if she refuses to eat.  Sometimes kids just aren't that hungry, for whatever reason.  But here is the terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad part:  If Ivey goes to bed without eating enough, she'll wake up at 4 am vomiting.  I don't have to tell you how miserable that is.  Ivey suffers, obviously.  We have to leap out of bed, take care of her, change her clothes, move Suzi to another bed, change the sheets, and wash any stuffed animals or other casualties.  It's an instant Mount Washmore.  We all start our day tired and out of sorts, and we have to be careful what we feed Ivey for a few hours or the whole thing will happen again.

I worry about her teeth.  It's not good to so frequently expose them to stomach acid this way.  However, if we cave and give her candy bars for dinner every other night in a desperate bid to get calories into her, we are compromising her dental health and general health!

It's a really crappy situation, and we are working to find the answer(s).  I think the most likely cause is hypoglycemia, which she could get from either side of the family.  I used to wake up sick so often at slumber parties and overnight trips that for a while, my mom picked me up from events before bedtime.  I needed late night snacks so I wouldn't wake up nauseous with low blood sugar.  We are also trying to give her a longer stretch of time between dinner and bedtime, in case it's a digestion issue.  This is not easy to do, because it takes her 45 minutes to eat five bites of food.  Finally, I read online that reflux sometimes presents in a similar way, so we are propping her pillow up a bit to help with that.

Tonight after dinner--she ate maybe five bites of shrimp and rice--I gave her yogurt for dessert.  I'm hoping this easily digested, easily absorbed food with protein will get her through the night.  And I'm also praying this is just a temporary phase she's going through and not a serious problem!

NAK: A Robert update

I've had this blog since 2007 and have never done a write-every-day-for-a-month thing, so I thought maybe I'd do it now.  Also, this blog has been rather neglected as I've tried to also post somewhat regularly on my homeschool and derby blogs.  I'm going to try this and see how it goes.  Not exactly sure what I'll write about every day for a month!

Today, I'll start with Robert.  I've been meaning to post about him.  He'll be 18 months old next week--one of my favorite, yet one of the most challenging ages.  His haircut has really grown on me.  Now, instead of a bunch of curls and wispy hair in his eyes, the first thing you notice is his big, sweet eyes.  It also looks very blonde since the big haircut.

Bouncing at a friend's house

He's using more and more words and phrases now.  The ones I can think of right now are Mama, Daddy, shoes, cookie ("cook-cook"), water ("wa"), "I want," yeah, no, and outside.  And then there are my two favorites:  "thank you" and "ruff-ruff!"  If he hears a dog barking, he barks back.  I love it.  Oh, and he also says "boo-boo."  That's when he wants to nurse.  He was nursing while I typed a lot of this.

Since it's been warm anyway, I've hardly put shoes on the boy until recently.  He loves to wear them and holds his little feet up for me to put them on him.  With his cute little Skidders shoes on, he spends a lot more time running around with the big kids.  When we go to the church for our homeschool co-op, I take him out of his car seat and just put him down to let him follow his sisters inside.  On the playground, he runs around and climbs the structures.  He looks so proud when he gets to the top of something.  We took the kids to the zoo yesterday and he had a great time looking and pointing at all the animals, and then playing on the playground.

He loves Daddy.  On Friday he stood on our love seat looking out the front window, asking me questions like "Daddy?  Is Daddy?  Daddy ha?"  Poor little guy.  I totally understand.  I miss Daddy when he's at work too!

He can be a pain in the butt as well.  He pours drinks in the floor, pulls out items from drawers and cabinets I really wanted him to leave alone, and doesn't do much napping except for when he's nursing or being held.  Jordan has the golden touch for putting him down so he stays asleep, and getting him right back to sleep once he wakes up.

He doesn't watch movies like the other kids (and the dog).  He much prefers climbing on things and just generally wreaking havoc.

Oh, little troublemaker Bob.  He's my constant companion.  The girls go to Grandma and Grandpa's house regularly, but Robert runs them ragged and they can't handle it.  Except for once or twice a month when they keep him for just a couple of hours for me to do something like take the girls to a Tri-Art show that is only for ages three and up, it's me and Bobber.  Together.  All the time.  It's not always easy.

He's so sweet, though.  I love him and am still so happy he was our big surprise.  I think about nine months or so in the future, when he will be a little more predictable and will probably be learning to use the potty, and my life just might be evening out a bit.  It helps get me through the tough days of nonstop messes and having to be on constantly, watching and intervening and never getting very much done.  It lets me enjoy the sweet toddler cuddles and cuteness of now, knowing it's all a season.  A wonderful, messy season.

I'll try to post every day this month.  Sometimes it's hard to find a minute to concentrate.  There may be a few days I write two sentences about how tired I am and hit publish.  Oh well.  Doing the best I can!

Nearing the end of our dentist debacle

Yesterday we took Suzi to the dentist--the third one we've seen--to get a couple of cavities filled.  It's been a complicated journey.  After going for a second opinion, we'd decided to wait just a little while to get the work done while we tried to stop the decay with natural measures.  While some people have even reported success in reversing decay and have seen teeth heal and harden, the dentist told us, after a panoramic x-ray, that her cavities weren't getting worse but that they would definitely need to be filled.  If she were older we might have put it off indefinitely and just kept an eye on it; however, it will be at least five or six years before she starts losing these molars and we didn't want to end up with an abscess, or a tooth that needed more extensive work than just a filling.

We tried to get them filled earlier in the month at the family dentist, but she started to scream as soon as they brought out the water squirter, and refused the "elephant nose" with the nitrous oxide in it.  They somehow got her numbed without too much fuss, but the noisy drill upset her enough that we had to give up and take her to another dentist, a pediatric one who could offer her a little something extra in the way of relaxation/sedation.  Our first filling appointment was yesterday.  While she wasn't knocked completely out, she did accept the nitrous and allowed them to do the work.  Once she realized it was noisy but not painful, she seemed somewhat comfortable.  Then she picked out a prize from the toy chest and we went home to enjoy movies and milkshakes.  The worst part is the lingering numbness, which she hates.  I don't blame her one bit--I hate it too!

We have three more similar appointments ahead of us that will hopefully go as well as this first one.  We could have gotten it over with months ago at the first dentist we saw, but I'm glad we didn't.  They wanted to jump right into much more extensive work.  Several pulpotomies instead of fillings.  The dentist rushed through our appointment and barely spoke to us, letting a hygienist break the horrible news to us on our way out of the office.  It did not feel right at all, and it wasn't as if we didn't pay a fortune for his consult!  Now, after seeing two more dentists we trust, there is a good chance we will have to do one pulpotomy on the worst spot, but they are going to try for a filling first.  I also appreciated that the dentist we are seeing now sat down with me and Suzi and explained everything in a way that informed her as the person having the work done, but also put her at ease rather than scaring her.  It's a fine line to walk, and it's a line that the first pediatric dentist, despite his fancy, entertaining office, failed to even approach.

I can't wait to have it all over with in a month or two.  However, after this little ordeal, even considering the aggravation and extra money it cost, I can definitely say I believe strongly in a second opinion if the first one doesn't feel right.  Money, time, energy well spent to get what is best for our child.

Thunder-Crush!

After watching Charlotte's Web a few weeks ago, Suzi insisted she needed a stuffed pig. She wanted to name it Wilburt. So we bought one with a little of our coin-rolling money. She enjoyed playing with Wilburt for a while, and then the other day asked me for some sweater scraps. She came back to show me her pig in a superhero mask. Then she cut an orange cape, which I sewed on for her, and named him Thunder-Crush! She does things like this all the time.

Life has been so busy and exhausting lately. It really has. But it is so worth it when I see how much more interesting things are going to get as my children grow. Holding a newborn is amazing, obviously. But when your babies get old enough to have ideas they can act on, and they begin to create, and can talk with you about what they think and why, that is even better. You finally get a sneak peek at the people they will become. It's like a gift from God that you get to open little by little over the years.

So during the difficult days that naturally come along quite frequently while homeschooling with a 17-month-old, 3-year-old, and 5-year-old, I take heart in the knowledge that it will only get easier and more fun from here. It's already happening!

Beauty school dropout

Thank God for weekends. Jordan is home from now until Monday morning!

Things have been hard around here lately. We don't have any serious problems. We are all healthy and happy, but just tired. I won't bore you with the details, but it's basically so many messes. They are made mostly by the three- and one-year-old children, with the two dogs as their sidekicks.

The Mess of the Week Award goes to Ivey, and it happened yesterday. My friend Megan and I were sewing at the dining room table, and Suzi was with us. Robert was happy in the jumperoo. Ivey was playing quietly. Yep. I should've known!

Suzi went in the living room and caught Ivey in the act. I heard her shout the words no mother ever wants to hear: "Mom! Ivey's cutting hair!" Ivey tried to hide (meaning she lay down in the floor and closed her eyes) as Megan and I stared at all the blond hair in the living room floor. She had cut her hair and Robert's. I thought I might faint and sat down for a minute while Megan swept up all the hair and tied up a little curl of each child's hair with ribbon. Jordan came home for lunch because I needed moral support and told Ivey she shouldn't cut hair. She told him "yeah I should, it looks beautiful." Remember how in Sleeping Beauty they rounded up every spinning wheel in the kingdom and destroyed them all? We are basically going to have to do that at our house, but with scissors.

Luckily our awesome hair stylist worked us in that afternoon, so Ivey got a cute pixie cut, and Robert now looks like Caillou. It's a shame I don't like Caillou. Every time I look at my baby boy, all I can think of is that theme song! But the good news is that now I can stop wondering why on earth Caillou is bald. It's probably because he cut his own hair and had to have it buzzed.

I love Ivey's new pixie cut, and more importantly, so does she!

Curls! I miss those beautiful curls! But he's probably more comfortable now.

Shorty, 1997 - 2012

Wednesday afternoon while I was attending a blessingway, my mom called to tell me she was at the vet with our 15-year-old dachshund, Shorty. He had been unwell for a long time, so I knew this call was coming; I just didn't know when. His lungs were filling with fluid and his heart was giving out, and the vet thought it would be best to euthanize. I called Jordan, he left work right away, and we went to be with Shorty.

My mom held him in her arms, wrapped in a blanket. When I came in and touched him, he swung his head around, sniffing to find me, searching with clouded eyes that I'm sure couldn't see anything more than shadows. He probably couldn't hear much either, and he lay there in stark contrast to the jet black, muscular, energetic dog in my memories. But, there at the end in that small, sad room, he was no less beautiful to me. As I sat there petting him, his life flashed before my eyes. Bringing him home, naming him. His near-death experience with a gnawed electrical cord. Rooting under the covers in my bed. Meeting his "wife" Dixie when he was eight or so, and his new lease on life afterwards. Throwing a ball for him to fetch and his unbridled joy in bringing it back, thousands of times. In his prime, seeing him chase a ball all the way to the fence, sometimes rolling and somersaulting to grab it. Near the end, tossing it right at his feet and seeing him lose track of it anyway. He never gave up on his favorite game. Or guarding our house. He was also a great judge of character, and in retrospect I can see that he was always right.

I see clearly now how dogs, like people, are deliberately placed by God into our lives. Shorty was such a gift to us over the past 15 years, in so many ways. I'm so glad we were able to be with him as he left his life on earth behind. I'm so glad we stayed with him to the end, because I think he knows we stayed. He is in heaven now--in my heart, I know he is.

We miss him so much. I know it's much worse for my mom, who has lived with him and cared for him since I went to college, but I've been surprised at how hard it is for me. The first night was bad. It's better now, but Dixie has come to live at our house and sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye. Since she is also a dachshund and the same shape as he was, my heart jumps for a second, and then aches. Last night I was eating a bagel and she came to beg for scraps, and my mind involuntarily placed Shorty right there next to her. He always was right there next to her. It's not right to see her alone. It just hurts.

I am thankful for the time and memories we had with him. He wasn't perfect, but he was wonderful. I'll share some of my favorite Shorty stories a little later. Right now, I am comforted by Phibby and Dixie cuddles, and I just keep imagining Shorty running through the yard on his strong little legs, proudly bringing a ball back for us to throw.

Love to Learn Homeschool Conference

Jordan and I signed up in May to attend the Love to Learn Homeschool Conference August 4th. My sweet, wonderful parents agreed to keep Ivey and Robert all day, while Suzi was out of town visiting her Nana and Papa (Jordan's parents). So, that's right, Jordan and I drove over two hours to Charlotte and attended this event all by ourselves! It was amazing--both the conference and our ability to concentrate sans kids.

This homeschool conference is much, much smaller than some. I know there was a big one in Atlanta recently--lots and lots of vendors and curricula to see and buy, probably tons of tempting manipulatives. And that would've been great. But we really didn't have much money to spend and are pretty happy with what we've got curriculum-wise, so maybe it was better that I wasn't tempted. We chose this conference because of its focus on unschooling and relaxed homeschooling, which I wanted to learn more about.

There were a few neat vendors at this conference, but we only shopped at one. I approached a table overflowing with gently used books, toys, games, and manipulatives for awesome prices. It prompted me to ask the lady supervising it if she ran a shop. She said no, that she had children aged 6-22 and these were all things they'd outgrown or that they had extra of. Wow. We bought a few books and several dinosaurs for the kids, among a few other things--a volcano kit, a water science set, a peg board pattern set, and some puzzles.

Then we moved on to the sessions. Several times we ran into a conflict--two sessions we wanted to attend at the same time--so Jordan and I went to separate sessions. The first one I attended was "Always Unschooled." The lady who taught this said that she--like me--started researching and trying to plan when her firstborn was a baby. Then she realized that 99% of the information and skills you use everyday are learned outside of school. (Think about it--what information have you used recently that you learned in a classroom?) Children--and adults--absorb and retain what is relevant and interesting to them. It was especially comforting to hear how her son learned to read much later than is thought to be normal, but eventually did it in a way that worked for him and went on to be very successful as an adult in college. Suzi is not reading yet, and it's easy for me to freak out over this since I began reading at four and loved it.

Next I went to "Organize Your Homeschool," which was a useful session for its practical suggestions even though I thought the presenter's teaching style was too strict for our family. She discussed the best ways to use bookshelves, binders, baskets/boxes, small containers, letter stacking trays, calendars, lesson planners, timers, and... the trash can! There is something about organizing that gets me excited. Unfortunately, my teething baby boy probably isn't going to let me get much done for a while!

After lunch I attended a file folder game make-and-take workshop. The lady brought her laminator and a binding machine and helped us make games for our kids. It was fun! Here's the one I made for Suzi. You find the missing letter in the words and velcro the oval onto the right cup. I'd like to make some more games sometime soon, but I want to figure out a way to use different materials that are durable and yet do not require lamination.

Jordan and I went to a unit studies session that was a lot of fun. The mom who presented it had photos of her kids, right down to the baby with a pacifier in his mouth, dressing up and reenacting the Boston Tea Party off their bunk bed. Hilarious! I bet Suzi would be all over that! This mom also cooked food from each region of the United States for a unit, and sometimes they'd invite grandparents or friends over to see the kids perform and share what they'd learned. What better way to prove to skeptics that the kids truly are learning?

My favorite session took place the last two hours of the conference. I'd already absorbed about all I could take in one day, and my brain was fried. But Jordan and I went together to this one because I knew we needed it--an unschooling Q&A/role playing. Two amazing ladies (the one who sold us all the great stuff and the teacher of the first unschooling session) sat on a desk in the front of the room and answered all our questions. Some of it was deep. Finally I asked my burning questions, the things that held me back and sometimes took the joy out of our learning. The things that scared me and made me double-guess myself. I think I may have to save that whole discussion for another post. But, long story short, I left feeling much more relaxed and hopeful about our upcoming kindergarten year!

Stay tuned for a second and probably third post on this subject. It's just too much for one!