Shorty, 1997 - 2012

Wednesday afternoon while I was attending a blessingway, my mom called to tell me she was at the vet with our 15-year-old dachshund, Shorty. He had been unwell for a long time, so I knew this call was coming; I just didn't know when. His lungs were filling with fluid and his heart was giving out, and the vet thought it would be best to euthanize. I called Jordan, he left work right away, and we went to be with Shorty.

My mom held him in her arms, wrapped in a blanket. When I came in and touched him, he swung his head around, sniffing to find me, searching with clouded eyes that I'm sure couldn't see anything more than shadows. He probably couldn't hear much either, and he lay there in stark contrast to the jet black, muscular, energetic dog in my memories. But, there at the end in that small, sad room, he was no less beautiful to me. As I sat there petting him, his life flashed before my eyes. Bringing him home, naming him. His near-death experience with a gnawed electrical cord. Rooting under the covers in my bed. Meeting his "wife" Dixie when he was eight or so, and his new lease on life afterwards. Throwing a ball for him to fetch and his unbridled joy in bringing it back, thousands of times. In his prime, seeing him chase a ball all the way to the fence, sometimes rolling and somersaulting to grab it. Near the end, tossing it right at his feet and seeing him lose track of it anyway. He never gave up on his favorite game. Or guarding our house. He was also a great judge of character, and in retrospect I can see that he was always right.

I see clearly now how dogs, like people, are deliberately placed by God into our lives. Shorty was such a gift to us over the past 15 years, in so many ways. I'm so glad we were able to be with him as he left his life on earth behind. I'm so glad we stayed with him to the end, because I think he knows we stayed. He is in heaven now--in my heart, I know he is.

We miss him so much. I know it's much worse for my mom, who has lived with him and cared for him since I went to college, but I've been surprised at how hard it is for me. The first night was bad. It's better now, but Dixie has come to live at our house and sometimes I'll catch a glimpse of her out of the corner of my eye. Since she is also a dachshund and the same shape as he was, my heart jumps for a second, and then aches. Last night I was eating a bagel and she came to beg for scraps, and my mind involuntarily placed Shorty right there next to her. He always was right there next to her. It's not right to see her alone. It just hurts.

I am thankful for the time and memories we had with him. He wasn't perfect, but he was wonderful. I'll share some of my favorite Shorty stories a little later. Right now, I am comforted by Phibby and Dixie cuddles, and I just keep imagining Shorty running through the yard on his strong little legs, proudly bringing a ball back for us to throw.

Love to Learn Homeschool Conference

Jordan and I signed up in May to attend the Love to Learn Homeschool Conference August 4th. My sweet, wonderful parents agreed to keep Ivey and Robert all day, while Suzi was out of town visiting her Nana and Papa (Jordan's parents). So, that's right, Jordan and I drove over two hours to Charlotte and attended this event all by ourselves! It was amazing--both the conference and our ability to concentrate sans kids.

This homeschool conference is much, much smaller than some. I know there was a big one in Atlanta recently--lots and lots of vendors and curricula to see and buy, probably tons of tempting manipulatives. And that would've been great. But we really didn't have much money to spend and are pretty happy with what we've got curriculum-wise, so maybe it was better that I wasn't tempted. We chose this conference because of its focus on unschooling and relaxed homeschooling, which I wanted to learn more about.

There were a few neat vendors at this conference, but we only shopped at one. I approached a table overflowing with gently used books, toys, games, and manipulatives for awesome prices. It prompted me to ask the lady supervising it if she ran a shop. She said no, that she had children aged 6-22 and these were all things they'd outgrown or that they had extra of. Wow. We bought a few books and several dinosaurs for the kids, among a few other things--a volcano kit, a water science set, a peg board pattern set, and some puzzles.

Then we moved on to the sessions. Several times we ran into a conflict--two sessions we wanted to attend at the same time--so Jordan and I went to separate sessions. The first one I attended was "Always Unschooled." The lady who taught this said that she--like me--started researching and trying to plan when her firstborn was a baby. Then she realized that 99% of the information and skills you use everyday are learned outside of school. (Think about it--what information have you used recently that you learned in a classroom?) Children--and adults--absorb and retain what is relevant and interesting to them. It was especially comforting to hear how her son learned to read much later than is thought to be normal, but eventually did it in a way that worked for him and went on to be very successful as an adult in college. Suzi is not reading yet, and it's easy for me to freak out over this since I began reading at four and loved it.

Next I went to "Organize Your Homeschool," which was a useful session for its practical suggestions even though I thought the presenter's teaching style was too strict for our family. She discussed the best ways to use bookshelves, binders, baskets/boxes, small containers, letter stacking trays, calendars, lesson planners, timers, and... the trash can! There is something about organizing that gets me excited. Unfortunately, my teething baby boy probably isn't going to let me get much done for a while!

After lunch I attended a file folder game make-and-take workshop. The lady brought her laminator and a binding machine and helped us make games for our kids. It was fun! Here's the one I made for Suzi. You find the missing letter in the words and velcro the oval onto the right cup. I'd like to make some more games sometime soon, but I want to figure out a way to use different materials that are durable and yet do not require lamination.

Jordan and I went to a unit studies session that was a lot of fun. The mom who presented it had photos of her kids, right down to the baby with a pacifier in his mouth, dressing up and reenacting the Boston Tea Party off their bunk bed. Hilarious! I bet Suzi would be all over that! This mom also cooked food from each region of the United States for a unit, and sometimes they'd invite grandparents or friends over to see the kids perform and share what they'd learned. What better way to prove to skeptics that the kids truly are learning?

My favorite session took place the last two hours of the conference. I'd already absorbed about all I could take in one day, and my brain was fried. But Jordan and I went together to this one because I knew we needed it--an unschooling Q&A/role playing. Two amazing ladies (the one who sold us all the great stuff and the teacher of the first unschooling session) sat on a desk in the front of the room and answered all our questions. Some of it was deep. Finally I asked my burning questions, the things that held me back and sometimes took the joy out of our learning. The things that scared me and made me double-guess myself. I think I may have to save that whole discussion for another post. But, long story short, I left feeling much more relaxed and hopeful about our upcoming kindergarten year!

Stay tuned for a second and probably third post on this subject. It's just too much for one!

Eye teeth

Robert is learning to give kisses and they are the sweetest, spittiest little kisses any baby boy ever gave, mmm-mah!

Robert is cutting his eye teeth and at least one molar. Ouch. Last night he finally fell asleep around midnight, I think. Jordan has always been the primary baby cuddler and puts Robert to sleep each night. He is awesome like that. The way Robert has been lately, if he does fall asleep we're afraid to put him down in the bed. That'll probably wake him up, and he hasn't even wanted to nurse to sleep at night lately. I feel bad for him, because clearly the poor little guy is uncomfortable a lot of the time and there's only so much I can do to help.

It's been hard for the rest of us, too. It's hard to juggle baby cuddling, meal preparing, spending time with my girls, homeschooling, cleaning, and other assorted projects I must do. We've been taking a break on the homeschooling. I am sure the girls would love for me to read to them more, without the baby whining and crying at us. Jordan does most of the cooking. The house gets really messy sometimes. Do you know how many dirty dishes and dirty clothes a family of five can generate? It's nuts! By the time I've dealt with all that, I barely have any time or focus to tackle what I call second-tier cleaning jobs. You know, things you say you'll do once the laundry is put away and the floor isn't covered in toys. Stuff like cleaning out the craft (crap) room, going through the kids' outgrown clothes, clearing the dining room table, or seeing if I can find the top of my dresser. I've been thinking about making a list of all these tasks I'd like to do and checking one or two off every week. Maybe then I could eventually work on third-tier stuff like reorganizing and decorating.

By the way, I am still skating! I love and need this in my life right now. Here is what's going on with derby.

28

Suzi made me this birthday card--a picture of the two of us.

Today is my birthday and the kids are driving me crazy. I was downstairs making coffee by 6:00, but Suzi was joining me 15 minutes later, wanting to finish a sewing project we'd started the night before.

I dropped what I was doing and finished it with her, and finished Ivey's too. It was fun. I loved seeing their smiling faces when Little Johnny Bear (Suzi's) and Mess Bear (Ivey's) were ready to cuddle. Unfortunately, spending time on this before doing any of the usual morning jobs got the day off to a hectic start.

And everything just spiraled from there. Fight after fight after fight. No naps. Whiny, uncooperative kids. There is nothing quite like a full day of fussing at your children every three minutes. I feel like a referee. Where is my whistle?

There have been some good parts, though. A lot of good parts. In a day that has made me so stressed and tired, the good parts could easily be forgotten, and especially since it's my birthday I thought I'd write them down here.

1) I loved making those bears with the girls. Suzi sewed a lot of the edges on hers, and Ivey picked out all the things to go on hers and stuffed it.

2) I got phone calls from my mom, my brother Paul, my grandma, and my mother-in-law. It was nice to talk to them even though I had to close the other ear to hear them over the screeching children.

3) Suzi asked me to spell baseball and when I got to the second B she asked me "B again?" Like it was just ridiculous for a letter to be in a word more than once.

4) Suzi saw my frustration and said "Mom, if there's a big problem, just call me and I'll get out of my work, and come help. Okay?" She was working at her desk.

5) We made our favorite oatmeal cookies. Ivey was in the kitchen helping me when I came to the sad realization that the chocolate chips, pecans, and raisins for my double batch were not going to fit in my mixer. I took the bowl off the stand and started to squish it up with my hands. When Ivey saw what I was doing, she growled "ohhhh." So I had her wash her hands and let her squish a little. While I wasn't looking she licked her hands off, so I had to tell her she couldn't help anymore.

6) Suzi fed Robert and Ivey talked to him while I was busy with cookies. "Here comes Mr. Bat! Mr. Bat is flying into the bat cave! Swooooop!"

7) A chocolate-covered piglet, enjoying his cookies.

Toofies!

8) And then, cookie drunk. If you have never seen a baby fall asleep in a high chair, you should.

He leans to the side...

Did I doze off?

There was no real nap following this cuteness though. I took him out of the high chair, changed him, and nursed him. Then he was ready to roll again.

9) Jordan finally came home and he knew I was having a hard day because I'd called him a time or two, so he came over and gave me a hug. I whispered in his ear, "the baby smells like puke, and he needs a bath." It's my birthday. I'm cashing in my get-out-of-baths-free card.

Ohhh boy I'm tired. I hope derby practice goes well tonight.

P.S. If you'd like to read more about roller derby, my fresh meat teammate and I are blogging about it here on the URGE blog.

Robert can walk! (with video)

June 24, 2002 - Jordan and I meet in the bowling alley at college orientation.

June 24, 2012 - Our third child walks!

If a psychic had come up to us in the bowling alley that night and said, "Ten years from today you will be married with three children, and the baby will take his first steps," I wonder what we'd have thought. It's pretty cool to think about. We had no idea all the wild awesomeness we were in for, or even that we'd be experiencing it together. It's a good thing we exchanged email addresses!

Robert is 14 months old--a couple of months older than the girls when they first walked. He still prefers crawling as his main mode of transportation, but he can walk! As you can see from the video, he's pretty excited about it, too. Yay, Robert!

Followby

Suzi has been enthusiastically drawing rainbows lately. She loves to use markers and draw all the colors in the proper order. The other day she was sitting at her desk, singing a little song and drawing. Then she held up a bluish-greenish marker and asked "Mom, is this followby?" I wasn't sure what she was talking about, so she went on to explain. "You know, like in the song! Red, orange, yellow, then green, followby, blue! Indigo and violet, that's a rainbow soooong for you!"

It's a song she learned from The Cat in the Hat on TV. I explained that it was actually followed by. I think followby should be a color, though. It would be beautiful.

This is also posted at my homeschool blog, Pajama Party Academy, along with a little more about what we are (or aren't!) doing with homeschool right now. Check it out!

A Saturday to relax (and enjoy my new skates!)

I woke up first. Ivey must have sensed it, because pretty soon I heard Daaaddyyyyy! Jordan almost always gets up with them. Robert keeps me awake a lot wanting to nurse, so he lets me sleep in. But today it was definitely his turn. I went downstairs with Ivey, and not long after that Suzi and Robert woke up. I heard Robert whining and had to run and grab him out of our bed.

Robert peed in the little potty--hooray! I started coffee. Buttered toast for the kids. Finished washing diapers. Did dishes. Baked this awesome zucchini bread. Suzi saw me grating the zucchini and I admitted to her that I was using it to make the bread, and she still loved it. I mean, yes, it has sugar in it. But still. Where vegetables are concerned Suzi is usually all yeee-uck! Ivey pokes at it and says "I jus don't wike dis," and Robert chucks it in the floor. But they all ate this bread and I was a hero.

Then my dog who is bigger than any of my kids climbed up in my lap for a hug. Finally around 10:30 Jordan woke up and realized his Blu-Ray drive he got for Father's Day had just arrived in the mail and we could both see it was going to be a good, good day.

I have my own skates now. Yesterday Jordan took off work and my mom kept the girls so we could drive two hours to Atlanta to buy them. After talking with them three times on the phone, we visited Skate Escape and this really cool guy named Baby helped me find the perfect skates. I am so glad I didn't order them off a website, because my feet are very particular and I needed help and to try several different pairs on. I didn't end up with the ones I had in mind. The ones I got, Riedell Sparks, were a little more expensive, but I think they're worth it because they fit me better (firm, narrow heel but soft in the toes) and the soles are sewn on rather than just glued so hopefully they'll last longer. Also, they lace all the way to the toes. This will allow me to lace them looser or tighter all the way down, so they aren't falling off my feet and also aren't cutting off my circulation. Numb toes and hurting feet have been a problem for me with rented/borrowed skates. Either that or the skates one size up were slipping and wobbly. But no more.

I got knee and elbow pads and wrist guards, too. Had to wait on the helmet. Baby adjusted my skates and showed me how to loosen the wheels a bit when I'm ready. If we'd ordered online we would've had to pay shipping anyway, so I highly recommend making the trip to Skate Escape if you need skates and are even sort of nearby Atlanta. They are great.

Last night I had fun skating around our house, doing laundry and stuff in my skates. (I didn't go upstairs, though!) They feel so awesome. I love them. I wanted to take them to the rink today, but that would've messed up our relaxing Saturday. Right now Robert is napping, Jordan is mowing the lawn, and the girls are jumping on the trampoline. We'll go somewhere tomorrow, but today it's a beautiful Saturday, just hanging out here at home! Sometimes I almost forget how much I like it here.

Home is where the heart is.

Especially when the kitchen sink is empty.