How to (maybe) get baby down for a nap in 14 easy steps

I love them so very much

BUT

When only the baby is home, and he takes a nap, it is exciting.

1) Wait until your parents call and offer to take the toddler and preschooler to their house for a fun visit. Yay! Don't get too excited yet though.

2) Play with the baby, nurse him, change his diaper, and change his outfit. This is all getting done multiple times a day, of course, but it must be done all at once right before a nap attempt, if you want a nap of any decent length.

3) Try to nurse the baby to sleep. He will probably see right through this plan and refuse to close his eyes. It's worth a try though, and if it fails will at least serve to have him topped off and full.

4) Let him play for a little while in the floor until he starts to eat fuzz and crumbs that would have been swept up except you have not had time because, for one, the baby has not taken a nap.

5) Nurse him again. He is still not falling for that, I bet.

6) Place baby in the Jumperoo to play for a few minutes while you work on getting the house clean for the weekend.

7) Look over and see that your baby has fallen asleep standing up! What luck!

8) Carefully lift baby out of the Jumperoo. When his foot gets caught and he whimpers, cuddle him and walk around until he falls back asleep.

9) You could play it safe and just sit down, but there is a lot to do around the house. While still cradling the baby in one arm, use the other arm to prepare a nap spot on the love seat. Slyly place baby on this spot, on his side with his back against the back of the love seat. Maybe he won't even notice you aren't holding him anymore.

10) Well, crap. He starts to wake up and is giving you that look--"Mama! Did I nod off again? What's going on?! Noooo, pick me back up!" Don't pick him back up. You can still salvage this nap with a boob. Contort yourself so that you can nurse the baby without having to move him out of the nap position.

11) It will take a few minutes to get him back to sleep. In your twisted position, your arm will be asleep before he is--but it'll be worth it! Don't screw this up! First, let his eyes close. While still nursing, tuck baby in with a blanket. Now, wait until he's no longer nursing. Give it an extra minute or two just to be sure. You may now safely remove your booboo, but do not move. Yet.

12) If he doesn't start crying or trying to figure out in his sleep where the milkies went, you may back away slooooowly. If at any point the baby stirs, go back to #10. If not, sit up slooooowly.

13) Stand up and tiptoe away to do your silent happy dance. Well done, Mama! Now go enjoy some solo housecleaning and ice cream-eating. Don't forget to keep an eye on baby, though. He could wake up and try to roll, and you'll need to be right there to pick him up.

14) After 45 minutes or so of sweet naptime victory, you will be feeling awesome and recharged, and baby will be about ready to wake up. It is entirely possible, though, to pick him up promptly and nurse him for a little extra sleepytime. You can't get any work done during this time, but you can blog!

If you're really lucky, baby will sleep all the way until Daddy comes home. Happy Weekend!

I don't know how long it will last

The girls are both asleep at the same time, Suzi curled up on the love seat and Ivey on a blanket on the floor. It's like getting surprise roses, or a giant basket of tomatoes you know you'll never be able to use before they go bad.

Yesterday we discovered that, for me, shopping a consignment sale only on 50% off day is the best strategy. I love our local sale, and there are such great things at it, but unfortunately I have a hard time understanding that all the great things do not have to come home with me. Going to the presale requires that I arrange childcare for four hours of volunteering and at least three hours for the sale itself. Then I go and spend at least $200, and go back to half-price day (and get in early for volunteering) and drop another $100. It's insane. Yesterday Jordan and I went to the general public 50% off sale while my parents kept the girls. We shopped for about an hour, spent $84, and got all the clothes Suzi will need for this fall/winter and much more. The selection didn't seem picked over at all to me. The closet is packed and I haven't even processed it all yet. For Ivey we only needed to sort through hand-me-downs, which is super because it's like shopping for free and of course I love all the clothes, which I picked out the first time.

Consignment sale shopping and hand-me-down sorting added considerable height to our already huge laundry hill and I wanted to take care of that today, but the girls would rather it remained in a big nasty pile. I failed to get a head-start on them this morning. Ivey has fallen twice and bumped her forehead and cheek, and there will be bruises. Poor little girl. After lunch I decided to run the girls a warm bath, throw some toys in, and let them play in the tub for over an hour. When your babies are having a hard day and driving you crazy, there is nothing like letting them play in the tub to lighten the mood. When Ivey's teeth started chattering we ended the bath and moved on to naptime, which is where we are now. There's not much I can do without possibly waking the girls up, and I can't go upstairs and leave them down here alone, so I sit here typing and wondering: Have I been doing enough? Is this a reasonable amount of laundry and straightening and cleaning to expect and I am just lazy? Do other people's houses look like this when no one's visiting, too? Do their one-year-olds play in the toilet when they aren't looking?

I love naptime on days like today. I'd like to freeze it and keep it in my pocket for when I need it most. I want it to last as long as a good nap should, but children's naps are such fickle things. They wither away in no time for any reason and give way to whining.

I love naps, but I never did like getting roses.

Prefer tomatoes.